Finding the Suffering Soul

          Why is it that sometimes the greatest pain one may endure is not actually knowing why they are suffering?  Is there really a way to truly understand all the dynamics into our soul and why we are forced to undergo this feeling of suffering and being lost?  There are many reasons as to how one may be feeling as if they are suffering, and until the person can truly understand why they are the pain doesn’t really go away.  But to understand why suffering is taking place you might have to travel through hell and back.

          Mental illness is sometimes a cause as to why a person may be feeling this way.  Not being able to distinguish what is actually real from what is fantasy can cause major disturbances in thinking, emotions, behavior, and perception.  This could mean that there is a severe break with reality taking place.  False beliefs may begin to form about the world that remains unshakable even though there is actual solid evidence that disproves the delusions. 

          In the novel A Question of Power, by Bessie Head, the main character Elizabeth has been battling this same situation of soul suffering and her “strange journey into hell” (Head 12).  Elizabeth has pretty much been trying to find her purpose in life throughout the entire book.  She has felt extremely unwanted, due to the fact that she is both black and white, as well as not knowing her real parents, yet leaving her like a lost soul for most of her life.  But, somewhere at the end of the book Elizabeth is finally able to gain some sort of peace, so there is possibly light at the end of the tunnel.

          On top of this she has been suffering from a mental illness.  A lot of what has happened in Elizabeth’s childhood is what has led up to her battling this mental illness.  It was as if Elizabeth was a prisoner in her own head, having to face her own personal visions and demons living inside of her.  Her path of self destruction with her delusions, have had a great impact on her life.  This has all took part in her trying to distinguish the difference between objective reality (which is the truth) and subjective reality (the imaginary).

          Fortunately enough for Elizabeth, while she was working in the garden co-op, she met a friend named Tom.  Tom was really the one that helped her though this “journey into hell”, she was able to count on him.  Being friends with Tom, was what helped take Elizabeth’s mind off of the suffering she was enduring.  Tom was by Elizabeth’s side even when she was placed in the mental hospital, even though Elizabeth denied his visit.  Without him and his gestures of compassion, Elizabeth may have never been able to reframe herself, creating her new world.

          Elizabeth definitely went on a rollercoaster of a journey through hell and back.  She had to be able to figure out who she truly was even if it meant defining her negatives and fighting her demons.  She was able to find herself, her soul, and no longer face the server amounts of suffering she was dealt with.    Elizabeth now had a sense of belonging in her life, a purpose as to what she needed to do.  Even though she overcame her hell, she will always have that battle at times with her demons and in some aspects she might have to endure some sort of suffering, because it never truly goes away.  But, its not what happens to Elizabeth that is most important, it is how she decides to react to it is the key to her true happiness; “she placed a soft hand over her land.  It was a gesture of belonging” (Head 206).