Reminisce

          Wow, I can’t believe how fast time flies.  At times I think about how easy it would be to be able to go back about six years ago, to when I was seventeen.  I was in my senior year in high school, doing really great in school, had a job where I only worked a few hours a week and the money I made I could just blow on anything I wanted, I was able to hang out with my friends any time I wanted; I really just didn’t have a whole lot of responsibility.  As long as my homework was always done, I worked when I was supposed to, and I checked in with my parents; any spare time I had was just “Ashley time”, all about me and what I wanted to do.         

          Well, the times sure have changed.  I don’t know the last time I really had “Ashley time”.  I have more responsibility than I ever thought I would have had at this age.  I not only take care of myself, but I take care of and dedicate all my time and efforts to my absolutely amazing son.  I now have my own home with my son, my school and work load as increased by a lot, as well as my household responsibilities.  I no longer can just spend my money on whatever I want, I have to make sure that all my bills are paid and my son has everything he needs to be taken care of. 

          At times I ponder over the thought of being seventeen again.  Not having to take care of all the responsibilities that I have now.  My life was so easy and it was definitely so much fun.  But, then I stop and think about everything I have and how grateful I am to have so much in my life.  I would never take anything away that I have now, or trade it for any part of my past.  There is a reason why I have moved on and left that part of my life in the past.  Even though I have like triple the responsibilities now than I did when I was seventeen, I am having so much fun with my life right now.

          In the novel An Artist of the Floating World, by Kazuo Ishiguro, the main character, Masuji Ono is continuously revisiting his past.  He seems to go back to the place in his life when he was admired by so many, back to his “glory” days.  Everyone seemed to look up to him; he was a cultural figure and someone of a higher stature.  In Ono’s present state in life he is in a different place than he was before the war.  Ono lost so much since the war, so this is why he constantly spends so much time revisiting his past.  He is trying to fill the emptiness of what is currently missing in his life now, and trying to spend so much time figuring out what went wrong.   “Who believe my career to have been a negative influence.  An influence now best erased and forgotten” (Ishiguro 123).         

          Sometimes it is okay to go back and look at the events which took place in your past.  You definitely don’t want to forget where you came from and what in your past made you the person of whom you are today.  But, then there comes a time where nostalgia can become slightly dangerous.  I believe Ono is an example of when revisiting your past can become unhealthy.  He continuously goes back to what his life was like before the war, so now he is missing out on what is going on in his life presently.  You can’t change the choices or mistakes you have made, so instead Ono needs to work on ways to fix his life, and make it the life he wants to live. 

          I don’t believe there is anything wrong with Nostalgia, and it can actually be a really great thing.  Depending on how often you look back on your past and for what reasons really depends on if nostalgia really is good or bad.  As long as you can recognize why you are revisiting your past and do not allow it to confuse you in your present state of life, then nostalgia is something positive.  “But there is certainly a satisfaction and dignity to be gained in coming to terms with the mistakes one has made in the course of one’s life” (Ishiguro 124).